Can a Husband See His Wife Undressed During Labor?

In this post, we are going to discuss items 3,6 and 7 from the list we quoted from the Yoatzot website.  All of these laws are based on the assumption that a man may not see certain parts of his wife's body when she has the status of Niddah.  As usual, we will have to trace this law from its' origins and then see how it may or may not apply to our situation.  We will begin with the following statement in the Talmud:

 Rabbi Aḥa, son of Rabbi Yoshiya, says: Anyone who watches women will ultimately come to sin, and anyone who looks at the heel of a woman will have indecent children as a punishment. Rav Yosef said: And this relates to all women, including his wife when she has the status of a menstruating woman. Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said: The heel of a woman that is mentioned is not the heel of the foot, but the place of uncleanliness, i.e., the genitalia, and it is called a heel as a euphemism, as it is situated opposite the heel. (Talmud Nedarim 20a)

The simple reading of this Gemara is that a man is not supposed to look at his wife's genitalia while she is a Niddah.  One would infer from there that while she is not a Niddah and they are permitted to have sexual contact, there is no such prohibition.  This is how most of the Rishonim understand this Gemara.  Rabbi Bezalel ben Avraham Ashkenazi (1520-1592, also known as the "Shita Mekubetzet"), who anthologizes and summarizes the rishonim, explains it this way (my translation)

... Rabbi Yosef explains that this prohibition is when his wife is a Niddah, the reason he need to state this is because for (gazing at) other women it is already prohibited from the verse which states "One must be careful from anything evil" as we learned in tractate Avodah Zarah. When it says the language "her heel" it is referring to the place of her genitalia which is opposite the heel, as it states in Tractate Niddah, (that when a blood stain is found) on her heel, she is considered impure (as blood from the vagina could very easily fall and land on her heel) (Shita Mekubetzet Nedarim 20a)

Clearly Rabbi Ashkenazi understood that this prohibition was specifically against gazing at the genitalia of one's spouse when she is in Niddah status.  Presumably, the reason for this prohibition is because looking at his wife when she is undressed and seeing her genitalia is sexually arousing to him at a time when sexual contact is prohibited.  Therefore one is prohibited from gazing upon her genitalia as it is likely to stimulate sexual desire. This is even more clear from the language of Rabbi Menachem ben Solomon Meiri (1249-1315, also known as "the Meiri") (my translation).

...(after describing a general prohibition against gazing at women in general who are not his spouse) But anyone who gazes upon the "heel" of a woman, if it is his wife and she is in a state of purity, and the purpose is for her to be more desirable to him (to increase his desire at a time when sexual activity is permitted - K'dei Le'Chavevah is the language used by the Meiri)  then it is permitted, and not only gazing upon her "heel" is meant by this permission, but even that which is "opposite the heel" (euphemism for genitalia as stated in the Talmud) , the reason the Gemara chose the term "heel" is because a heel also refers to "Ikvoteha" (her stride) as in (usual circumstances) she is dressed and walking (past him) even towards him and he sees her from the front, or as she passes him and he sees her stride as she walks past.   But if she is a Niddah and (he gazes upon her genitalia) then he will have improper children (as a punishment for gazing upon his wife's genitalia during a prohibited time) (Beit Habechirah Nedarim 20a)

The Meiri was clearly not prohibiting gazing at one's spouse while fully clothed and walking while she is in Niddah status. It is a clearly established and non controversial Halacha that we shall quote later in this post that such activity is completely permissible.  When the Meiri prohibits gazing at one's wife when she is a Niddah, he is referring to the same thing that he was permitting when she is not a Niddah. This was gazing at her "heel" which in the context of the Meiri's comments of the Gemara in Nedarim is a euphemism for her genitalia. In other words, just as we saw in the Shita Mekubetzet above, a husband is permitted to look upon his wife's genitalia when she is permitted to him as the purpose is "K'dei Le'Chavevah" (in order to make her sexually desirable to him).

The Rif as well quotes this sugyah in its simple meaning, which applies a prohibition against gazing at one's wife's genitalia when she is a Niddah, but not when she is not a Niddah. Since his quote is almost a direct quote of the Gemara above I will not quote it again here.  

Rabbi Avraham of Montpelier (mid 13th century, died in 1315, also known as Rabbi Avraham min HaHar"), in his commentary on Nedarim writes in regard to the law of gazing at her "heel" (my translation):

This law (of gazing at her "heel" - euphemism for genitalia) was stated only in regard to his wife when she is a Niddah, that it is prohibited to look at her (in this way) but when she is not at her time of Niddah it is permitted, but other women it is always prohibitted even if they are not a niddah (Rabbi Avraham min hahar, Nedarim 20a)

This basic understanding of the Gemara in Nedarim is written as practical halacha as we have seen in the previous Rishonim by Rabbi Isaac ben Sheshet Perfet (1326-1408, also known as "the Rivash") (my translation):

...(after discussing the general prohibition against gazing upon women to whom someone is not married) ... and in this (following) manner as well an unmarried woman even if she is not a niddah is more strict then regarding his wife who is a niddah, as (with one's wife even in Niddah status) it is permissible to look at her and even derive pleasure from seeing her, and they (the rabbis) did not prohibit looking upon one's wife who is a Niddah only at her genitalia, as we see in Tractate Nedarim 20a. (Teshuvat HaRivash 425:3) 

So the Rivash makes it clear that he understood the Talmud in Nedarim, just as the other Rishonim that we quoted.  That the prohibition of Niddah is looking upon his wife's genitalia during the time of Niddah.

This understanding of the sugyah seems clear from the Rambam as well (my translation):

A man is permitted to look at his wife when she is a Niddah, even though she is prohibited to him (at the time) and (this is true) even though he has pleasure in his heart from looking upon her since she will be permitted to him at a later time (we are not concerned that he may) come to a transgression as a result of this action (seeing her) however, he should be careful not to be frivolous or careless (in his behavior) with her as maybe this could lead to a sin. (Mishna Torah Hilchot isurrei Biah 21:4)

The Rambam does not mention directly the prohibition of gazing upon his spouse's genitalia, and the reason for this is not clear.  One possibility is that he does not see this as a prohibition, as at the end of the Gemara in Nedarim, the following is stated:

Rabbi Yoḥanan said: That is the statement of Yoḥanan ben Dehavai. However, the Rabbis said: The halakha is not in accordance with the opinion of Yoḥanan ben Dehavai. Rather, whatever a man wishes to do with his wife he may do. He may engage in sexual intercourse with her in any manner that he wishes, and need not concern himself with these restrictions. As an allegory, it is like meat that comes from the butcher. If he wants to eat it with salt, he may eat it that way. If he wants to eat it roasted, he may eat it roasted. If he wants to eat it cooked, he may eat it cooked. If he wants to eat it boiled, he may eat it boiled. And likewise with regard to fish that come from the fisherman. (Nedarim 20b)

After listing various practices regarding inappropriate behavior with women, the Rambam several paragraphs later concludes in 21:9 by quoting the above statement of Rabbi Yohanan. It is plausible that the Rambam felt that the statement of Rabbi Yochanan applied to all of the preceding statements in the Gemara as well, and therefore the Rambam did not record any prohibition of seeing one's spouse as a Niddah, even the genitalia.  Rabbi Avraham ben David (1125-1198, also known as "the Ra'avad") may have understood the Rambam this way, which is why he adds the following  (my translation):

...(commenting on the Rambam's words that frivolous behavior may lead to sin) ... However he may not look upon her private hidden place as it states in Nedarim 20) (Hasagot HaRa'avad Hilshchot Issurei Biah 21:4)

It is not clear if the Ra'avad understood that the Rambam held that there were no laws against a husband gazing upon the genitalia of his wife who is a Niddah and that he was arguing on the Rambam's position, or if the Ra'avad was explaining the Rambam's position and adding that included in "being frivolous" was the prohibition against looking upon her genitalia.  Regardless, it is again clear that the understanding of the Raa'vad was that the Gemara in Nedarim was only referring to a prohibition against gazing upon the genitalia of someone's wife when she is a Niddah.

Another important point from the Rambam is that we have the first explicit explanation as to the reason for this prohibition, which is because it may lead to sin. This will be important later on in our discussion.

Rabbi Vidal of Tolosa (14th century, also known as "the Maggid Mishna") also understood the Gemara in Nedarim in the same way, and he addressed the Ra'avad's comments by stating clearly that this was the Rambam's intent when he discussed the importance of not being "frivolous" (my translation). 

...(discussing the Rambam's words that it is permissible for a husband to look upon his wife when she is a Niddah) .. this is clear from the Talmud in Nedarim 20a, as they said there that one who gazes upon the "heel' of a woman will have children that are not good children, and rav Yosef stated that this is referring to his wife when she is a Niddah, Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish stated that when it says her "heel" it is really referring to her genitalia which is opposite the heel, It seems clear from here that to gaze upon any other places it is permissible. and similarly it says that it is permissible for a woman to adorn herself while she is a Niddah so that she does not look ugly to her husband, as it states in Rambam Chapter 11, so we see from there that it is permitted to look upon her (anywhere other than the genitalia) and in the comments of the ra'avad he adds that in the hidden place upon her he may not gaze but (I feel) that it was unnecessary for our teacher (the Rambam) to state this  because he already stated that one may not act frivolous or careless and certainly that would include gazing upon her genitals (Maggid Mishna Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:4) 

We have now demonstrated that the overwhelming majority of the Rishonim understood the gemara in Nedarim according to its' simple meaning.  The practical halacha then according to Shita Mekubeztet, Meiri, Rif, Rabbeinu Avraham min Hahar, Rivash, Rambam, Ra'avad, and Maggid Mishna was simple and explicit. When a woman is not a Niddah, there are no restrictions at all against looking at one's spouse.  This includes the genitalia. However, when she is in the status of niddah, there are no restrictions other than looking at her genitalia, and this is consistent with the simple reading of the Gemara in Nedarim. The Tur in Even Ha'ezer 21, and the Beit Yosef and the Shulchan Aruch as well in Even Ha'ezer 21 all seem to agree with the poskim we quoted above.

According to all of the above, the entire issue of seeing one's wife uncovered in labor is mostly a non issue.  For starters, we have already argued that she is not a Niddah in labor, which means that there would be no restrictions, even to see her genitals. This would mean that issues regarding what the husband may or may not see (#'s 3,6,7) stated in the list from the Yoatzot website are simply non issues.  even the birth itself would be a non issue until the baby is born, after which all agree she has the status of Niddah.  At that time one could argue that he would be prohibited from looking at her vagina.  However, even then it is almost certain that seeing her vagina after the delivery will not lead to transgression.  This would not be considered the type of "frivolous and careless" behavior that the Rambam was referring to that might lead to sexual intercourse.

I would like to make a point here which should be obvious.  Maintaining appropriate modesty and making the woman in labor as comfortable as possible is always priority one. I am not suggesting here at all that she should not dress in a manner that best maintains her sense of modesty and comfort.  The same is true for the husband's behavior.  He should always behave in such a way as to make his wife as comfortable as possible.  I am only discussing here "the rules", but one must always remember that "Derech Eretz kadma La'Torah" proper and respectful behavior always comes first.

So where did these laws come from? Why does the Yoatzot website give guidance that is so different from all of these Rishonim and the Gemara?  In order to understand this, we will have to follow a completely different stream in the Halachic literature, one which started with Rabbi Shlomo ibn Aderet (1235-1310, also known as "the Rashba" (my translation):

...(discussing the laws of the harchakot - the "distancers" which one should practice to prevent falling into a transgression of the laws of Niddah) ... and anyone who looks upon the "heel" of a woman will have children that are improper, Says Rav Yosef (Nedarim 20a) and this includes a woman who is a Niddah. and from the fact that the "heel" (is prohibitted) we can derive that all areas that are "covered" on a woman's body (should not be seen by the husband when she is a Niddah) (Rashba, Torat HaBayit, HaBayit 6, Sha'ar 5)

There are several things which are unclear from this Rashba. For starters, he does not bring the final statement which defines the "heel" as referring to the genitalia.  One must assume, that the Rashba was simply using the term "heel" as a euphemism for the genitalia, as he clearly knew how the Gemara explained that terminology.  If so, when the Rashba adds the idea that from the prohibition of looking at the genitalia of one's wife when she is a Niddah that we "derive' that one may not look at any "covered" parts, what exactly does he mean?  Is he adding a stringency from his own understanding that since one may not look at the genitalia then it would be proper not to look at other covered parts as well? Or does he believe that this was the intention of the Gemara itself?  This is important, because if the Rashba feels that this was the proper reading of the Gemara (despite that fact absolutely no other Rishon understood it that way) then the Rashba would be claiming that not looking upon any "covered" part of one's spouse is an actual Talmudic decree. On the other hand, if this is just the Rashba deriving a stringency on his own, (and his understanding of the Gemara is consistent with everyone else's) then we are simply dealing with a custom established by the Rashba, not an actual rabbinic decree.

Since it is easier to assume that the Rashba understood the Talmud in Nedarim the same as everyone else, I believe that it is much more likely that he was simply adding the stringency on his own.  However, this stringency of the Rashba had massive influence on the development of this Halacha.

The Tur quotes the Rashba (my translation):

...and one should not look (at his wife when she is a Niddah) even at her heel and not at any place that is (usually) covered ...(Tur Yoreh De'ah 195)

The Beit Yosef then comments (my translation):

and even though Resh lakish said there (in Nedarim) that the "heel" refers to the genitalia ... it seems to our teacher (the Tur) that from the "heel" (euphemism for genitalia) we can derive that any (typically) covered place (is also prohibited) Nonetheless it seems clear that any other place that is not normally covered is permitted (for the husband) to look upon them.  (Beit Yosef Yoreh De'ah 195:11:1)

It is still unclear if the Beit Yosef means to say that the Rashba, and hence the Tur in his footsteps, understood that this was the explanation of the Gemara itself, or if the Rashba was deriving his own stringency.  Regardless, this is what become codified in the Shulchan Aruch.  This time, unlike in previous topics we have discussed, the Rama only points out that "non-covered" places are permissible to see, and he does not bring any arguments for leniency.

The modern poskim (See Iggrot Moshe, Yoreh de'ah 2:75), all follow in the footsteps of the SA and therefore declare that any place that is "normally covered" may not be seen while a woman is a Niddah. 

Recall that in our previous posts we argued that non-sexual touch would be allowed even if she were a Niddah, even according to the Rambam that touching one's wife while a Niddah is a Torah prohibition.  We also mentioned above, in the name of the Maggid Mishna, that when the Rambam stated that one should not be "frivolous" with his wife when she is a Niddah, that the reason was because it would lead to sin.  If, for some reason, any part of a woman needs to be uncovered during labor, either for medical reasons or for her comfort, that should always be the priority.  The fact that he may see something that is usually covered should not be of concern to us, as this is exceedingly unlikely to lead to sin.  This is similar to the argument that we made regarding non-sexual touch before.  Only here, clearly, the husband should not be gazing upon her in ways that would make her uncomfortable, or in ways that suggested sexual attraction.  Such a situation would be quite awkward indeed, for obvious reasons. 

Let us summarize now all of what we have just learned, and apply it to our situation of the husband in the labor room:

1. According to the simple understanding of the Gemara and the overwhelming majority of Rishonim and early Poskim, there are no visual restrictions at all when a woman is not a Niddah.  therefore:
1. if you assume like we have argued that a woman in labor is not a Niddah until the child is born, there would be no visual restrictions until birth
2. after the birth, one could argue that seeing the vagina is prohibited as she is a Niddah
3. even after birth, one could still argue that since this is not "frivolous behavior" that could lead to sex (as sexual intercourse resulting from seeing the vagina at this time is exceedingly unlikely to result) then even after the birth there are no visual restrictions at all, even vaginal
2. According to the Rashba, one should be stringent when a women is a Niddah and not visualize the parts of a woman's body that are "usually covered", Therefore:
1. if you assume like we have argued that a woman in labor is not a Niddah until the child is born, there would be no visual restrictions until birth
2. If you assume that she is a Niddah during labor, then it would simply be required that she cover herself as she normally would when at home with her family.  Obviously, she is having a baby, so this would not be completely possible.  At this point, common sense and her personal comfort would have to be your guide.  Her personal comfort is the primary issue, while the fact that he may inadertently see something would not violate the Rashba's chumra, as it would not be such that it could lead to sin.
3. after the birth, the women should then cover herself in the way she normally would if she were at home with her husband. This may not be totally necessary given that seeing his wife at this time is exceedingly unlikely to lead to transgression, just like we argued before.  Again, her comfort and her medical care should be the only factor driving decision making. 

The bottom line of all of this is, that if we simply keep the woman comfortable and have her covered in a way that she is comfortable and maintains her own sense of modesty, we really do not need to worry about what the husband sees or doesn't see. 

This brings us to another issue I now need to address, and that is item # 4 on the Yoatzot list. This is the assertion that a husband cannot see his wife's vagina even if she is not a Niddah. This statement is quite contradictory to almost everything I just wrote in this post. Those of you that are ready to pounce on me for this, please hold on until you read my next post. I will be delving into the origins of that statement and how that fits in with the ideas I just expressed in this post.